My beautifully soft pyjamas, the faint smell of DNKY still on my wrists from the night before and infinite amounts of cushions sprinkled around my bedroom. This is what I used to wake up to in the mornings, now unfortunately I wake up to hairy toes, loud grunts and the sound of “’sup darlin’” as I enter the kitchen. I’ve never lived with boys before. Would I do it again? Maybe when I’m 30 and in desperate need of some eye candy or I need to be ‘taken care of’ by some hunky Australian man named Brody >>>
Now don’t get me wrong girls there’s nothing (too) wrong with the male species, I mean the majority of them are gorgeous and know how to fix just about anything if you flutter your eyelids well enough. But my time at university so far has showed me much more to these men, the grittier side. For example I walked into the kitchen the other day to one of my housemates still in his dressing gown drinking his tea and itching his balls. Talk about how to put a girl off her toast.
These are the things I’ve learnt so far whilst living with boys:
1. Boys are definitely not like girls
2. When they drop ironing boards on their toes they shout “FUCK” and punch the fridge (I did the exact same thing this morning, without the shouting and punching because I’m a calm and controlled being)
3. Boys eat, drink, and sleep sex.
4. They say one thing and mean the complete opposite
5. They think that they’re macho men and can save us girls whenever we’re in need (although not when there’s an enormous spider in the kitchen and they scream just as much as we do)
6. Their form of affection comes out in bursts of aggression and bad language – for example “Piss off you ugly muff” actually means “I really like you, let’s have a hug”
I can assure you that there will be many more stories about my beloved boys, everyday something new and stupidly funny occurs in our house.
